Backwards

I should have posted this first but I also wanted to share this story from the last week of my dad's life that I wrote to family and friends on January 12. L went to be with the Lord on Saturday, January 15, 2011 around 6:45am.

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On Saturday, we took my dad to the Homeowner's Association meeting because they were voting for a new board and he wanted to be a part of that. It was kind of an event getting him out of the house but my sister's fiancé was here so he helped us a lot with lifting and moving my dad. That was about all he had energy for on Saturday and he spend most of the rest of the day in bed. He got up for a late breakfast Sunday and then spent the rest of the day in bed. This weekend was really a gift as he got to see his friends in the neighborhood all at once and say goodbye to them.

Monday he woke up slightly confused and he got progressively more so throughout the day... He began to quickly struggle more and more to find the words he wanted to say and as his confusion grew he became more and more agitated and frustrated. His pain also increased dramatically on Monday. We had to begin to add in liquid morphine to handle his pain (this is fast acting and added to his extended release morphine that he takes twice a day).

By Monday night, he was less and less responsive to us when we talked to him and his responses became nonsensical at times. His leg pain, which had been his main battle, started to become secondary to pain in his stomach and his urgent need to urinate frequently. I won't go into great detail here but it became clear that his kidneys are shutting down.

Yesterday was the first day that he stayed in bed all day but the kidney issue caused extreme pain which woke him up regularly. Yesterday was also the first full day that we really weren't able to communicate with him. He was mildly responsive to questions and instructions with a very very limited amount of talking most of which was nearly impossible to understand. Yesterday he still was able to say each of our names at some point in the day... Mainly when struggling with the pain surrounding urination.

Today, the hospice nurse brought a catheter which has made a WORLD of difference. We also got a hospital bed for him today. He seems much more comfortable and he's essentially been asleep all day... I don't know the official terminology but I heard my mom tell someone on the phone today that he is semi-comatose. He's only had a couple of ounces of water today and no food. Most of the day he would respond by opening his eyes when you spoke to him but as of this evening, he's not doing that any longer. We've been keeping music playing for him and we talk to him and let him know that he's loved and not alone.

My aunt who was here with us a week or so ago came back this morning. She is my mom's sister and it's a huge help to my mom and to my sister and I for her to be here.

Unfortunately, when it rains it floods, however, because my aunt found out shortly after I picked her up from the airport that her husband went to the hospital for tightness in his chest and was going to be admitted for observation overnight. Then, this afternoon, my sister found out that her fiancé had his mom drive him to the hospital for the same thing and that he would also be staying overnight for observation.

So.... It's been tough and not getting much easier but hopefully, my dad will get to end his struggle soon and find some much needed rest and peace. It is going to hard to lose him but i believe there is a better life for him than the one he has now. After that, we can get the other guys back in shape. (It's a good thing I'm not seeing anyone... He'd be doomed right about now!!). :)

That was extra long... Way longer than I intended. Thanks for reading it and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. I think of you all often.

Much love,

A.